Chante Wolf is a veteran member of VFP Chapter 27 in Minneapolis, MN
I agonize over Memorial Day. I despise the fly overs, 21-gun salutes, barbecues and blowout sales that make it all seem so cheap and then forgotten until next year.
I want to throw up, sob, run away and hide. Then comes the anger over our never-ending wars and never-ending deaths and I find myself wishing some unlucky soul would give me a reason to beat the ever-loving shit out of them so I would at least feel some sort of relief. Not very peaceful, I know, but I am just being brutally honest with how I feel the way war, violence and rape is perpetuated in this country.
So, instead of shopping, I want to remember those who died in the military during my service, 1980 to 1992:
*Two Airmenwho were murdered and buried behind their Security Police Squadron after they turned in most of their squadron members for doing drugs.
*My friend, Carmen,a Spanish woman who sat next to me at the switchboard in Zaragoza, AB, Spain, who was beaten to death with a champaign bottle and dumped into the Ebro River by her MSgt. boyfriend.
*SrA. Armstrongon guard duty at the front gate late one night, put his M-16 under his chin.
*TSgt. Wilsonsat in his idling car with a hose running from the muffler into the back seat.
*The whole Roberts family, including 3 children, suffocated to death from a leaked butane tank.
*My friend, Sgt. Andrews and 15 othersdied when their C-130 plowed into the side of Mt. Moncayo, Spain.
*My friend, SSgt. Betty Holms and two other sergeantswere killed when a Spanish military bus filled with drunk soldiers flipped into the air and landed on 3 cars of U.S. Military members driving into work. Becky managed to use her body to shield her 3-year old daughter, saving her life.
*My friend, SrA. Claude Atman,who attempted suicide only later to die of cancer.
*The Challenger Explosion,our base was the alternative landing site and many of us had gotten to know the ground crew as they prepped the runway. I never saw so many grown men openly sob before in my life.
*My hearing the deaths of 28 and wounding over 100U.S. Reservists in Dhahran during Desert Storm.
*My Desert Storm friend, TSgt. George Simmons,died from cancer, most probably due to his exposure to oil smoke and depleted uranium after he went to Kuwait. He had four daughters.
And of my family: My cousin, Stevie, who served two combat tours in Viet Nam as a medic, killed himself just after I joined the Air Force. My Uncle Bud who was a paratrooper during WWII, drank himself to death and my Father who dropped dead of a massive heart attack 3 years ago, served in the Navy during the Korean War. His crew were conducting boat boarding missions off of South Africa and came upon a hostile boat crew. His unit killed everyone on board. He never spoke of it nor wore an Ace of Spades on any of his base ball hats either
And now to remember a few recent deaths:
*Chief Warrant Officer, Matthew Lourey,KIA in Iraq, 2005. He was the son of former MN Senator Becky Lourey.
*Andy Pelecis,a Viet Nam veteran killed himself in 2002 after a long battle with depression. His daughter, Mara created a documentary, “Souvenirs, Healing After the War.”
*Lance Cpl. Jeff Lucey,was ordered to shoot two unarmed Iraqi prisoners. Scared to death, shaking, he hesitated because they were his age. The order came again and he complied. Afterwards he took their dog tags and brought them home with him along with the war. Anguished angry and telling his sister that he was a murderer, he hung himself with a garden hose in the basement of his parents house on June 22nd, 2004.
*Army Spc. Alyssa Peterson,killed herself by gunshot after refusing to participate in torture as an Arabic translator at Abu Ghraib, Iraq.
*Cpl. Pat Tillman,killed by fratricide, April 22nd, 2004. The Army first reported that he died in a hail of gunfire from the enemy. Lt. General Stanley McChrystal approved Tillman’s award of the Silver Star. Tillman was going to speak out against both occupations Iraq and Afghanistan. He had also participated in the staged ‘movie’ rescue of Jessica Lynch.
*Colonel Theodore Westhusing,killed himself by gunshot, June 5th, 2005 and left the following suicide note to his commanding officer, General Petraeus:
“Thanks for telling me it was a good day until I briefed you. [Redacted name]--you are only interested in your career and provide no support to your staff--no msn [mission] support and you don’t care. I cannot support a msn that leads to corruption, human right abuses and liars. I am sullied--no more. I didn’t volunteer to support corrupt, money grubbing contractors, nor work for commanders only interested in themselves. I came to serve honorably and feel dishonored. I trust no Iraqi. I cannot live this way. All my love to my family, my wife and my precious children. I love you and trust you only. Death before being dishonored any more. Trust is essential--I don’t know who to trust anymore. [Sic] Why serve when you cannot accomplish the mission, when you no longer believe in the cause, when your every effort and breath to succeed meets with lies, lack of support and selfishness? No more. Reevaluate yourselves, Cdrs [commanders]. You are not what you think you are and I know it. Life needs trust. Trust is no more for me here in Iraq.”
If war really worked, then why do we still build more memorials, expand veteran’s cemeteries and study about it so much in schools, universities and think-tanks? Isn’t it time to build shrines for the peace-keepers, study good communication skills and work diligently on reconciliation instead?